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What’s never okay

Relationships are complicated, and sometimes it can be hard to know if what the other person is doing are normal relationship behaviours.

You may have heard of the term ‘toxic relationship’. This is often used to describe a relationship that is unhealthy or abusive.

A toxic relationship often involves one person having all the mana me te mana (power and control). When this happens, the relationship can start to feel really unfair and unequal. A person will get and keep power and control in a relationship through the use of abusive behaviour.

Abusive behaviour can be physical or sexual, as well as mental and emotional. This can affect your overall hauora.

We should never excuse abusive behaviour, even if we care about the other person or they say they care about us. Being violent, possessive, manipulative or angry is not a way of showing care, aroha (love) and whakaute (respect).

Click through the flip cards below to find out about the behaviours that are never okay in any relationship:

Do you think you might be in an unhealthy relationship?

If you recognise any of these behaviours happening in your own relationship, it’s important to know that it’s not your fault and that lots of tautoko (support) is out there to help you know what to do next. It can help to talk to an adult you trust, or get in touch with an awesome support service here:

Related topics
What love is not
Leaving an unhealthy relationship