Nau Mai Haere Mai

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What does sex mean to me?

Sex means a lot of different things to different people. What you define as sex might be based on your values and beliefs, culture, gender or sexual orientation, and what you feel comfortable with.

Sex doesn’t just have to be PnV sex, or sex with genitals. You can be sexual without having penetrative sex.

To find out about other kinds of sex or sexual activities, check out the link below:

Sexual boundaries

It’s important to talk about sexual boundaries. In other words, what you and the person (or people) you’re thinking of having sex with do and don’t feel comfortable with. This may be tricky to know if you haven’t had sex before, so it’s important to keep communication open between before, during and after sex.

Maybe you could do a little research together on sex techniques and positions before having sex. Then decide together how you will check in with each other during sex, and how you will speak up when you do and don’t like what’s happening. After sex, chat with each other about how you’re feeling. For support with this, check out the tab below.

How to talk about sex


Consent is super important when it comes to sex. You should feel that you can freely give your consent to sex, and you must be confident that you’ve been given consent from the other person.

Sex without consent is sexual violence, and is never okay.

To find out how to give and get consent, check out the tab below:


Having safer sex

Having safer sex means talking about, and using contraception so that both you and the person (or people) you’re thinking of having sex with can enjoy great sex without the worry.

In a healthy sexual relationship, it takes everyone involved to get contraception right. Check out the topics below:

What is ‘safer sex’?