Kissing can be a great way to show your affection for someone and can feel pretty amazing too. People often worry about being a ‘good kisser’, but kissing doesn’t have to be perfect, or stressful.
Think of a good kiss as a mutual exchange, rather than one person running the show.
The best kisses are ones you and the person you’re kissing both enjoy.
- Be prepared: having soft lips and fresh breath can help you to feel more confident and make the kiss more enjoyable for the other person. Try to:
- keep lip balm in your pocket
- keep mints or gum on hand.
- If you’re at home, take a quick trip to the bathroom to brush your teeth.
- Consent and respect: in movies and TV shows, there is A LOT of spontaneous kissing that goes on, where people pull each other in and kiss without saying a word. However, we know movies aren’t real life and it’s important to always ask a person’s consent before kissing or touching them.
Asking for consent doesn’t have to make things awkward or ‘kill the mood’. It is actually quite sexy. Whatever you choose to go with, just be sure you have a clear yes before you lean in for that kiss. You could try asking the following:
- “I’d really like to kiss you right now. How do you feel about that?”
- “Do you think it’d be okay if I kiss you?”
- “I’ve been thinking about kissing you. Do you ever think about kissing me?”
- Or simply "Can I kiss you? Would that be ok?"
- Make sure it’s the right time and place: sometimes kissing isn’t always appropriate. Not everyone is comfortable kissing in public or in front of friends and whānau. Trying to kiss someone when they’re feeling down or upset probably isn’t the best idea either.
- Consider the type of kiss: if you’re with your partner in public, perhaps a kiss on their cheek or foreground will do the trick. If you’re somewhere more private, kissing their neck can make for great foreplay. Remember, you don’t have to kiss on the lips every time. It can be fun to change things up a bit.
How to kiss
Want to know how to actually kiss or how to go from closed-mouth to open-mouth kissing? The B and B team are making a video on how to kiss. So stay tuned. In the meantime, check out the link below:
Did you know? Most people tend to kiss in a way they enjoy, so if in doubt, try mirroring how your partner is kissing.
Just like with sex, it’s important to comunicate with your partner about kissing to ensure that it’s enjoyable for both of you.
Talking about kissing helps you find out what your partner likes, and it lets you tell your partner what you like.
Try using some of these sentence starters when talking about kissing:
- I really liked when you did…
- [Blank] felt really good…
- Next time, we should try more/less of…
- Did you like it when I tried…
- Is it OK if we do…
- I’m not sure if I’m comfortable with [blank]. Can we try less of that?