We're so glad you're here!
Take a dig through our content by clicking on the main headers and subheadings. This will take you to videos, hot tip's, fun facts, and more!
Relationships don’t always last, and that’s okay. As we grow and change, it’s possible for our relationships and our feelings towards them to change too.
If you feel that a relationship isn’t right for you anymore, it's a good idea to honour your feelings and respectfully end it. You need to do what’s right for you, while also thinking about the other person and their feelings in the process.
There can be many different reasons why you might decide to break up with the person you’re in a relationship with, all of which are valid:
When breaking up with someone, it’s important to think about how you would want to be treated if you were the one being broken up with.
It’s best not to break up via text or social media as this can be really impersonal. Face-to-face should be the go to, unless you don’t feel safe breaking up in person.
It’s a good idea to give yourselves some privacy when breaking up. There will likely be a lot of emotions to process and manage. Other people don’t need to be involved, unless you don’t feel safe being alone with the other person. If this is the case, it may help to have a support person with you, or break up in a public place.
1) Be clear in your own mind about what you want to say.
2) Be clear with your partner about what has changed in the relationship for you, and how you feel about it. Don’t make it personal by making unkind comments or listing things you dislike about them. 3) Be clear that you are breaking up so there is no confusion.
The break up might come as a surprise to the other person so when you do tell them, be kind, but also make sure to stick to your decision and don’t allow yourself to get into a debate about it.
Emotions may be running high, but aggression doesn’t make for healthy conversation. Try your best not to get angry or frustrated and don’t use language that is blaming, judging or attacking. This will only cause the other person to get defensive, and your talk may end up in a fight.
It’s important to acknowledge the other person’s feelings and let them have their say too, rather than shutting them down or getting defensive. They deserve to share how they’re feeling. This being said, you don’t have to put up with them trying to convince you to stay.
It’s important to set boundaries about contacting one another after the break up. You will both likely need time and space to process the break up and to heal, however there may be belongings that need to be returned. Try to set a day and time for this to happen. It’s important to also agree what to do about private photos and information (e.g. passwords) you may have from one another.
When the person you are wanting to break up with is already going through a hard time (e.g. they are feeling low, depressed, suicidal, or are self-harming), it can be really hard to know what to do. You need to look after yourself and your feelings, but you will also be wanting to make sure that they will be okay.
Before you leave the relationship, try to get them support by encouraging them to talk to people they trust, or a support service such as Youthline, Lifeline or Need to Talk?. It’s important to know that it is not your responsibility to be their counsellor. You shouldn’t be made to feel as though you are their only support and that you have to stay in the relationship because of this.
Remember! If they don’t want to talk to anyone, then you need to tell an adult you trust. This may be difficult as it can feel like you’re going against the other person’s wishes or breaking their trust, but their safety has to come first.
We can’t always know how someone is going to respond to a break up. Sometimes people will choose to engage in unhealthy behaviours when they are being, or have been, broken up. They may threaten to harm you or themselves if you leave the relationship, or may threaten to post personal photos or information about you online.
Remember! Making threats or blackmailing someone is emotional abuse, and is never okay.
If you are being threatened or blackmailed to stay in a relationship, it’s important to seek support so you are not having to deal with this alone. It’s a good idea to talk to an adult you trust, or contact the following support services: