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Breakups aren’t always easy. When a relationship ends, it can feel like we have lost a part of us. It can be just as tough whether someone has broken up with us, or we have made the decision to break up, as a lot of emotions and feelings can be involved.
It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to feel after a break up, and there is no time limit on when you should be over your ex.
Being broken up with can really suck. A break up may be the last thing you were expecting, and it can be hard to process what your partner is telling you and how you’re feeling at the same time.
This can be easier said than done, however it’s important that you do respect the other person’s decision to end the relationship and listen to how they are feeling. This can help you to process their decision.
It’s okay to feel hurt and to want to share how you’re feeling, but this needs to be done without anger or aggression. Neither of these make for healthy communication, and you don’t want to do or say something that you later regret.
This isn’t fair to yourself or the other person. A break up may not be what you want, but you need to respect the other person’s decision.
Both of these are forms of emotional abuse and have no place in healthy relationships. Rather than taking our feelings out on the other person, it’s a good idea to seek support from someone we trust or a youth support service like Youthline.
Remember! There is nothing wrong with you. The relationship just wasn’t the right fit. Many people go through break ups and there’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
Whether you have been broken up with, or have broken things off with someone, it’s important to put yourself first now.
Click through the flip cards below for advice on how to look after YOU:
Give yourself space and time to deal with how you’re feeling. This may look like taking time each day to just chill by yourself. You may want to do some exercise, listen to music, get creative, or have a cry.
While it can help to have time alone, it’s important to keep in touch with people who care about you. Talk to friends and/or whānau who can understand and support you. If there are activities you did with your ex, think about whether your friends/whānau can do these with you now.
It’s important to get enough sleep, eat good food and get some exercise when we are feeling low. It can help to also have a routine that involves regular meal times and waking up at the same time each day. This can help give our life some structure when we’re feeling lost.
You might want to take up a passion or hobby that you haven’t done in a while. Maybe there’s something totally new you’ve been wanting to try, or a goal you’re keen to achieve. It can really help to have something fun and exciting to focus on after a break up.
Remember! While a break up can be hard, it can also be an opportunity to learn more about yourself and what you really want in future relationships.
Break ups can make us feel all kinds of things. While feelings of anger and frustration may bubble to the surface, it’s super important that we don’t act on these feelings and do things that can hurt the other person, and ourselves in the long run.
Make sure that you don’t do the following: