Nau Mai Haere Mai

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How to love?

Love isn’t just about how you feel. It’s also about your behaviour towards the person or people you love.

While love is an instinct and an emotion, being able to love in a healthy way is a skill that can take work. In fact, you never really stop working at it!

Loving someone is about accepting the other person for who they are, and respecting how they differ from you. It’s about allowing the person you love their own freedoms and independence outside of the relationship. It’s about working on your relationship together and feeling that you can be open with your partner when things aren’t going so well. It’s about experiencing a closeness with your partner and feeling comfortable to share things with them.

We can all love better by:

  • Being open with our partner/s

  • Communicating

  • Being independent - not being clingy, needy, or possessive

  • Compromising

  • Being committed and loyal

  • Respecting our partner’s boundaries, interests, ambitions, family and friends

  • Being trustworthy, and trusting our partner/s

  • Sharing

  • Being good friends with our partner/s

  • Caring for our partner/s

  • Recognising and respecting differences between us and our partner/s

  • Pleasuring our partner/s - this doesn’t just have to be sexually. Check out other ways to be intimate in the page below:
How to be intimate

If you’re in an online relationship, find out more about how to love in the page below:

Online romantic relationships