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There is so much information out there telling people how to be great at sex, but really what it comes down to is communicating with your partners and finding out what sex means to each other, and how it fits in to your relationship.
Great sex is about pleasure and respect.
Talk about how you will manage safer sex together. This means talking about what contraception you and your partner/s will use to prevent unplanned pregnancy, and how you will both project yourselves from sexually transmissible infections (STIs). Have you both had STI checks recently? It’s important to talk about these things so that you can both enjoy all the great stuff about sex without the worry.
It’s a good idea to talk with your partner/s about the following:
Talk about what sex means to you and what it means to your partner/s. Sex doesn’t just have to mean penis-in-vagina sex, or something to do with genitals. There are lots of different ways to be sexual. Sex can be anything that makes you horny or aroused.
Talk with your partner/s about sexual boundaries too - what you both enjoy doing sexually, what you’re comfortable exploring, and what you’re not okay with.
The te reo Māori phrases below are taken from Re: News. (2022). "Hot ways to ask for consent in te reo Māori." https://www.renews.co.nz/hot-ways-to-ask-for-consent-in-te-reo-maori/.
Can we try something new?
It'd be so hot if...
Do you like that?
How does that feel?
Do you want me to keep going?
Tell me what you like.
Show me how you want to be touched.
Do you want me to wear a condom?
To find out more about safer sex, and how to talk about it, check these out: